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[Jan. 17th, 2008|03:28 pm] |
I didn't think I'd miss him this badly. I really didn't. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know it would come in waves like this. I didn't know I'd remember the last time we were together and burst into tears.
Suck it up, Shorty. Nothing for it but the jihad. Nothing for it. it'll fade, it'll be fine. he'll be fine. I'll be fine. it's all good. life is waiting for you, it's all fucked up, but we'll survive. I'll survive. I'll move the fuck along 'cause that's what I do.
I love having emotional breakdowns right before class. |
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[Jan. 9th, 2008|08:22 pm] |
Ireland sucks and rocks.
I think I'm going to e-mail Scott when I get my computer back. I'd like to get a word or two in at him before he goes to New York. Good idea? Bad idea? let me know. |
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[Dec. 30th, 2007|06:38 pm] |
It's a very rare thing for me to feel quite out of my depth, and even rarer for me to freak out so completely as I am doing right now. Normally, I could fight with mom and maybe feel better. Or perhaps she could even give me some advice. But they decided to have family over for New Years. you know. the night before I leave. So there's no one to go to for help or advice or really anything. So basically I'm feeling scared and alone and generally like crap.
So I DO have stuff I could do, but I don't have a place I feel capable of doing it in. I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed. And you know? There's no one to really talk to, because I already know what they'll say. "it'll be fine, just get it done." Sure. Easy to say. Easier to do, actually. But not while I'm freaking out.
So here I am getting madder and madder at myself for being so pathetic, which really doesn't get me anywhere in the long run. |
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[Dec. 13th, 2007|01:17 pm] |
What the epic crap, I forgot I had one of these things.
RAPID FIRE UPDATE OF DELLA'S LIFE
* I'm going to Ireland in three weeks.
* I'm the head GM of the on-campus LARP.
* I'm still dating fuzzyface.
* At night I become a superhero called "THE CAFFIENATRIX"
* I have a lizard named Torque
* I am still a spazz
THAT IS ALL FOR NOW.
I have a final in three hours and I have to also pack up my room for the homes-to-be-going tomorrow. I do not wish to do these things, but these are things that must happen.
Woohoo! |
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[Mar. 14th, 2007|12:54 pm] |
So, I don't really have enough money to get my oil changed, get my haircut, and get gas to drive back to school, much less do anything interesting over break.
So I'm going to get my oil changed and then maybe mope a little bit. |
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| pro anorexia? |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|06:10 pm] |
what the fuck?
I'm a psych minor. figuring out what's wrong in people's heads is what I like to do. it's what I want to go to grad school for. Maybe my psychopathology course will teach me what the hell goes through someone's head when they decide "oh hey starvation is a great idea."
...yeah, I know. it's like OCD. the obsession is fat, the compulsion is fasting or purging. Yeah yeah yeah. But... how about that whole DEATH thing that happens? Wouldn't that be a deterrant?
So here's me, inviting anorexics to tell me what's going through your head. I can't do it on the site I volunteer at, because they'd kick me off. So really, what's going on in your head to make this a good idea? |
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[Mar. 8th, 2007|03:56 pm] |
I just failed my Data Analysis exam. :D good times!
I was so fucking crazy by the end of it that I thought a good answer to "do the results have statistical significance?" was "No. Nobody cares about these results. They are not significant in any way, shape, or form. In fact, the only way they could be less significant is if they were never discerned."
...thankfully I regained my sensibilities in time to erase that. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2007|12:38 am] |
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one kind of stress causes me not to eat at all. another kind makes me eat ravenously. today I am overeating and it is gross. |
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[Mar. 6th, 2007|08:07 pm] |
Alright. so I've pretty much got the ONI thing. That gladdens me. I have a drug test for it on monday. I'm tempted to be all "and I didn't even study!" at the technicians, but I'm pretty sure they hear that a lot from similarly smartassed interns.
hee. I'm an intern. :D
I've been having Good Coffee cravings. The watery-acidic stuff they give me here isn't enough. I want something rich and dark and bitter with a flavor you can CHEW. I want Will's mom's punch-to-the-face-with-awesome coffee.
I also have to write a paper, finish a test (which I have a guaranteed A on. Prof. Day is awesome) and then study for my psychology test. Oh and find some time to plot for Teh D&D.
Spring break will probably be... dull. it'll just be me in my house. Mom and Dad will be at work and Em will be at school... Except for my monday drug test and the Tuesday play... I'm free for the rest of it. Maybe I'll drive down to UMCP to visit Teh Jaydeb. Or maybe to New York to visit... New York. I'd spend time in Ocean City but Will's going to Cali-frikkin-fornia.
Well, at least there will be sushi. I want to get a big ol' bowl of unagi. <3
Friday will be good. Will's taking me out to a nice dinner at a reasonably swanky place and then we're going to see the 300. I will probably then go buy him ice cream at the coldstone place nearby the theatre and there will be awesomeness. Woot-friggin-ha.
And that's about all I've got for this installment of Procrastination Theatre. Time to write a paper! |
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| hoorayz! |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|10:09 am] |
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I got past the first tier of the ONI thingie! Now for security clearance nonsense! |
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[Dec. 13th, 2006|01:08 pm] |
Portfolio: DONE!
Now to study for the computing test of DOOM! if I don't get at least an 85 I don't make a B for the class! AAAH!
AWAY! |
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[Dec. 4th, 2006|01:21 am] |
I've just returned home from watching The Fountain. There are no words to properly describe the film itself. But it's effect on me was definite. It made me want to be close to someone and silent.
And it forced a realization on me about the nature of religion and science. It's all just people trying to hold up candles against the darkness of death, and it's all based in the messy biology of sex and birth. In the end, whatever religion you are or aren't, it all comes down to blood and semen.
The rest is details. |
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| PRAISE TH' LAWD! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|12:31 pm] |
Life is good. I am thankful for many, many things in it. And because I am so evil, I shall do this like Dierdre did because.... wait, I already put that qualifier there...
I am thankful for:
Coffee. Without the delicious bite of caffeine, my life, she would be worthless.
Young Will Collins. Yeah. he's a good guy.
Washington College For teaching me how terribly fucked up ANY administration is, not just in the white house, not just in a department store...EVERYWHERE. The Man is trying to fuck with you ALWAYS.
ONI for offering me an internship that will let me BE the Man who does the fucking with people.
www.teenhelp.org for letting me get out my drama-causing nature on DAS INTERNETS rather than in real life, and for having a few really awesome folks along with the crazies.
My family for raising me as awesome as I am. *strikes a sexy pose*
And most importantly and cheesily, All My Friends for being impossibly sexy, amazingly interesting, and positively psychotic people. Alla y'all, whether I've known you for years or just met you at 'con one day, y'all rock out.
Have a fantastic thanksgiving. |
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[Nov. 21st, 2006|01:23 am] |
Casino Royale for the win.
Daniel Craig is not an attractive man, but I would tap that anyway, because he is challenging Connery for the winning slot on my Best Bond list. Supposedly impossible, but that movie rocked out so hardcore, despite minor Bond timeline problems. I'll have to see him in another Bond film to determine whether he tops Connery, but damn. This movie was AWESOME.
Also, who is coming home for Thanksgiving Break that I might chill out with y'all a bit? |
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[Nov. 17th, 2006|12:43 am] |
I am now spazzing out a bit. I just sent off my ONI application. It turns out that me, Will, Isaac, AND Greg Cooke are all applying for the same Internship... it makes me wonder how many people they're accepting... because if we all got in? Best. Summer. Ever. 40 hours a week, 10 weeks, awesome salary, good people. I am PSYCHED! This will look sooooo sexy on a grad school application... or a job application... or even just "hey, Navy! pay for my grad school!"
I am PERFECTLY willing to sign my soul away to the government for higher education! YAY! |
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[Nov. 15th, 2006|01:21 am] |
Silent night, broken night
All is fallen when you take your life.
I found some hate for you, just for show.
You found some love for me, thinking I'd go.
Won't keep me from crying to sleep...
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent night, moonlit night
Nothing's changed. Nothing's right.
I should be stronger than weeping alone.
You should be weaker than sending me home.
Can't stop them from fighting to sleep...
Sleep in heavenly peace.
No, nothing's wrong. It's just pretty. |
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| Ben Folds Live |
[Nov. 3rd, 2006|09:49 am] |
On november 18th Ben Folds will be playing at WAC. I am excited. It will be fun.
I just have to remember to buy my tickety thing. |
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| FUCK MOONEY |
[Oct. 31st, 2006|01:44 am] |
FUCK PROFESSOR MOONEY.
I'm complaining to Dean Hoesly. he's not actually allowed to schedule a class on advising day. I've HAD it with his shitty class, shitty advice, and shitty planning and policies.
Who the hell spends the majority of a CREATIVE COURSE on LECTURE?! and not even useful lecture! not even sentence and paragraph structure summaries! just "blah blah blah blah JOHN GARDENER blah blah blah blah."
He's a terrible professor. |
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| ANIMAL TESTING!!! |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|02:21 pm] |
I get to be involved in an experiment testing the endocarrabinoid receptors of stressed-out rats!
YAY! |
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| Save a horse-- ride a virgin |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|05:26 pm] |
Virgin Festival kicked so much ass.
Concert Rundown:
The Killers: They were a mite disappointing, to be honest. They didn't suck, they gave good music, but there wasn't much of a SHOW if you know what I mean. Except for the crowd surfers slamming into our heads, there really wasn't much to differentiate it between just listening to the album. Of course, they played some new stuff, and they wore some pretty neat Western style outfits, but you know?
Also, they came on right before The Who. And really, no one can quite live up to that standard.
The Who: So. Awesome. We saw an ambulance before we got to the concert and we were like "goddamn it, the rest of The Who just died." But they didn't. They played a fantastic set, and there was lots of jumping around and screaming and singing, and I kept ALMOST getting really great pictures, but people kept throwing their hands up into the air right in front of the stage and getting into my shot. Not that it mattered much, we were like ten FEET from the stage. It was AWESOME. They put on a fantastic show.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers: We came for them, we stayed for them, and they delivered! Unfortunately, we were MUCH farther away, and I could only barely see what was going on on stage. Will picked me up and put me on his shoulders for Fortune Faded, and that was the coolest thing in the goddamn world. I could see EVERYTHING, it was like a sea of people's heads, and occasional crowd surfers. Flea was rocking back and forth in his pink jumpsuit looking like a friendly Gila monster, and Anthony Keitis was molesting the microphone, and it was AWESOME.
During the course of the concert, Will lost his Indiana Jones hat. The Voodoo was stolen by a random crowd surfer. We threw Andy up to go get it, but he failed in that particular mission.
Getting home was hell on earth. We got lost. Not the kind of lost where you're not sure where you are... the kind of lost where you know goddamn well where you are, it's just not where you should be, and you know where you should be is right nearby, you just CAN'T. FUCKING. GET THERE! After a FULL HOUR of driving up and down the SAME ROAD, we finally stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. There was another v-fest goer who was in the same boat, and we managed to get directions from a man we will now refer to as Ghetto!Jesus. This man is the coolest person ever, because he got us to 695. I have never been REJOICING about getting onto the beltway before. Holy jesus on a matza.
Today we got sushi and replaced the Indy!Hat. The world is back as it should be.
And now I am going the hell to sleep. I am wiped out. |
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